Circles we dance and seeds we plant.  Take this knowledge, children and fasten to the wheel of life.
{a creative video journey}

My children, AKA the fae-children have been soaking up the Autumn breeze and our sunny California fall weather by crafting spaces for the fae-folk in our backyard.  Something I did as a child and encourage all children, even big adult-children to do.  For I believe, it is in this creation space that we are actually opening and allowing the spirits of nature to breathe, come alive and be noticed.  It is in the imagination where the connection is made.  Try it, you will see.

Any man can lose his hat in a fairy-wind.  ~Irish Saying

The Great Mother. Gaia, La Madre Divina (The Divine Mother). She has been so powerfully present in my life. The goddess that creates, the goddess that survived much history, the goddess that has lived for so many ages planting seeds and guideposts for the new mothers (all who mother themselves). The mother goddess that is alive in the mythical tales and stories that made its way into every culture. There are many, each with a different message and unique gift to learn and touch upon. As I began my studies with the Goddess, I was led on a path of deep self discovery. I read about Goddess Persephone and her decision to claim her freedom, severing the ties to her family and living for her own. How she entered the underworld and experienced the darkness in order to Spring forth and come to know the ying and yang of life, the balance. I read about Goddess Isis, how she devoted her life to search for and mend the dismembered parts of her murdered husband. How that symbolizes us collecting pieces of our soul to remember who we are. I studied many and realized some of their stories were mine and I, as a woman, mother and goddess (for aren’t we all?) I mean, we all have a story to tell, don’t we? We all have messages to share in order to relate and connect with. To feel human. To feel the warm embrace of the mother goddess love that sees through us and into our souls, proclaiming our beauty and perfection in any stage of our lives. Always there and eternally giving from her wellspring of mother goddess heart.

So, as I studied, I came to see “Mother” as a verb.  To mother.  Mothering.  I mother.  Others mother me.  There is great power in all of that.  All the symbolism is helpful, yes…but I think they are merely messages to inspire the becoming of ourselves.  To support and nurture ourselves.  To mother our own souls.  My own mother yes was instrumental in those aspects.  She brought them out in me, even if they were birthed through frustration, I made my way to the gate looking back and thanking her with the deepest and softest part of me.  I experienced the tenderness of her own goddess heart.  I also saw her heart tear when I as a teenager went against every rule she set up, but she continued to love me deeply in her own way with her goddess heart.  My father, loving me through his goddess heart when I skipped school and failed miserably, bringing home poor grades or getting involved with that young man he disliked so much, but he loved me through it all and welcomed me home again with his goddess heart.  The same love he received from his mother’s goddess heart.  I remember when I had the “bad-guy syndrome” and my parents were to blame for all my adult issues.  If only they had done that, or raised me like this, or followed the guidelines of perfect parenting, I would be a better healthy person.  So glad that’s over!  Who would I be if they didn’t have their stories too?  Their imperfections became my strengths which I am coming to find in my own parenting with my child.

I remember when I finally surrendered to the idea that I was no longer going to be able to continue breastfeeding my daughter, I had so much trouble adjusting to it and had many other complications as well. I felt I failed my daughter. I sat on the couch sobbing and apologizing to my little crying hungry infant child. I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t going to be able to continue and that I tried my best. Oh…the guilt I swallowed as I held my daughter and began to prepare a formula bottle. My motherly breasts were a lot of talk, growing in size, shouting, “look at us…we were made to feed babies!” And after many weeks of crying while breastfeeding and trying to soothe the pain through all these remedies and listening to others one sentence comments about how simple it is, and how I was probably just doing something wrong, or maybe I was trying to hard. I resented all those books on breastfeeding and those women breastfeeders who had no problem at all, sitting in a park nursing their babies while smiling joyously. I was angered with the lactation specialist for being rough and direct with my failed attempts. It was a tough time and my breasts were tired of being battered, squeezed, slathered in soothing ointments, not to mention my pushing to nurse my daughter because, “I had to get used to it!” is what I tried to convince myself with. I always tell people that I really tried, till they bled. Really I did. Yes, you may cringe with a painful facial expression to feel my pain, but that pain was a great teacher, because my daughter drank away and adjusted to being bottle fed. She grew healthy and glowed with love. She had all the mother’s milk she needed and easily moved on to other things, like the natural gentle flow feeding bottles I searched for.  After one year, she was done with the milk thing, and was ready for the next phase. She showed me how to provide for her. She taught me how silly perfection was and that I was still the best mom ever. She was and still is a wonderful teacher for me. She loves me with her little goddess heart. Unconditionally and compassionately. Besides, she knew I was new at this breastfeeding thing. Will she remember my struggles? Will she go to therapy as an adult and tell everyone she would have been better off if I only did it the right way. Not if I introduce her to the ever flowing mother goddess heart.  The love that is always there for her at her request. I can show her how to draw from it, how to fill up with it. I can show her how to mother herself.

Through that whole ordeal, my own mother held my hand and affirmed that even if I didn’t spend the year feeding my daughter mother’s milk, I was still a great mom and that I responded to the greater plan and teachings of this experience.

I could never hold my dear mother or father responsible for not meeting someone else’s guidelines or how-to’s or another’s bible of the right way of parenting. They were parented too. They have their stories. They are perfect in my eyes. My mother goddess heart loves B E Y O N D all of that. And through it all she is standing with her hand out to me offering endless love, devotion, compassion and life to me where ever I am.

And the myths and stories, well they are only life stories and symbols of others sharing their own path on coming to know the value of the holy and sacred Goddess Mother heart. The one that loves us through it all. The one that is us. The one we allow to receive from not just our own mothers, but all the mothers in our life whether they are friends, lovers, children, teachers, therapists, etc.  Wherever you are in your life, know that I love you with my Mother Goddess Heart. Mother yourself the way your soul guides you to and remember, Great Mother says, “You are a perfect mother.”

Love blessings.

Goddess Mother Melissa

My little faerie child, Maya is a bookworm.  She is now reading chapter books, but loves cuddling up with mama for storytime.  I ABSOLUTELY adore children's books and as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I was collecting books for her bookshelf. 

This week was Children's book week and I thought I would share a short list of Maya's favorite books. 

**Bonus!
At age 5, Maya wrote her own book in her kindergarten class with the help of her fabulous teachers.  Below you will have a chance to view it in storytime format!

My Mama Had A Dancing Heart
(Orchard Paperbacks)
Libba Gray (Author)
Raul Colon (Illustrator)

Very sweet story.

Red Sings from Treetops: A Year in Colors
Joyce Sidman (Author)
Pamela Zagarenski (Illustrator)

Wonderful art in this one!

The Sun Is My Favorite Star 
Frank Asch (Author)

Other books by Frank Asch that we love are:
Like a Windy Day
The Earth and I

In My Heart
Molly Bang (Author)

Lovely book about loving heart connections between parent/caregiver and child.

In a Blue Room 
Jim Averbeck (Author)
Trcia Tusa (Illustrator)

Magical bedtime story.

Moon Rope/Un lazo a la luna 
Lois Ehlert (Author)
Amy Prince (Translator)

Book is written in English and Spanish.  We alternate between the two for fun!  The story was inspired by a Peruvian tale.  Lois Ehlert has so many other amazing books!  Another favorite is: Planting a Rainbow.

Hairs/Pelitos 
Sandra Cisneros (Author)
Terry Ybanez, (Illustrator)

Beautiful bilingual picture book about diversity.  I (heart) Sandra Cisneros.  *For the Mamas- she is the author of: The House on Mango Street, Caramelo and the wonderful book of poetry, Loose Woman.

The Woman Who Outshone the Sun
Alejandro Cruz Martinez (Author)
Fernando Olivera (Illustrator)

A very poetic book about an original Hispanic folktale.  I can't help it!  I am a lover of the old stories!

Goodnight Moon 
Margaret Wise Brown (Author)
Clement Hurd (Illustrator)

A classic.  This is the first book I got for Maya!  We know this one by heart!

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
Laura Joffe Numeroff (Author)
Felicia Bond (Illustrator)

Another classic book.  Maya tells this story best.  She knows it by heart.